My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
