there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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