WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
