I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
