So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just had sex bonerless
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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