After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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