You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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