I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
