The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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