I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
