I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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