i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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