Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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