"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
