So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize