Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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