Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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