yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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