Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
