Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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