Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
