My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
