Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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