I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
