this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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