it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
