We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
kristin has been a bad kristin
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize