We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
