morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
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