I wish i was in the wii world.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
