I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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