She said her name was "party"
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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