i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
