Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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