Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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