he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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