Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize
