How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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