remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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