Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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