I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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