dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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