Your dad touched me again.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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