a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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