yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize