What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
