Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
honey bunches of taint.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
