This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
