Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
