he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
