puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
