I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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