Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
