New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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