You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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