Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
