STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
