im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
