im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
