Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
