i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
