After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
