Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
